an online book by David Gurteen
In social psychology, an interpersonal relation (or interpersonal relationship) describes a social association, connection, or affiliation between two or more persons. It overlaps significantly with the concept of social relations, which are the fundamental unit of analysis within the social sciences. Relations vary in degrees of intimacy, self-disclosure, duration, reciprocity, and power distribution. The main themes or trends of the interpersonal relations are: family, kinship, friendship, love, marriage, business, employment, clubs, neighborhoods, ethical values, support and solidarity. Interpersonal relations may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual agreement, and form the basis of social groups and societies. They appear when people communicate or act with each other within specific social contexts, and they thrive on equitable and reciprocal compromises.
Interdisciplinary analysis of relationships draws heavily upon the other social sciences, including, but not limited to: anthropology, communication, cultural studies, economics, linguistics, mathematics, political science, social work, and sociology. This scientific analysis had evolved during the 1990s and has become "relationship science", through the research done by Ellen Berscheid and Elaine Hatfield. This interdisciplinary science attempts to provide evidence-based conclusions through the use of data analysis.
Credit: Wikipedia - interpersonal_relationshipProductive disagreement depends on how people feel about each other. We spend a lot of time thinking about how to argue, and not enough on how to shape the relationship that will define how the engagement goes. It’s often said that in order to disagree well, people need to put emotions aside and think purely … Continue reading Productive Disagreement Depends on How People Feel About Each Other Ian Leslie
The new kind of business hero must learn to operate without the might of the hierarchy behind them. The crutch of authority must be thrown away and replaced by their own ability to make relationships, use influence and work with others to achieve results. Credit: Rosabeth Moss Kanter Posts where this quotation is embedded Actor-network Theory … Continue reading Operating Without Hierarchy Rosabeth Moss Kanter
If I were to summarize in one sentence the single most important principle I have learned in the field of interpersonal relations, it would be this: Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Credit: Stephen R. Covey Posts where this quotation is embedded Actor-network Theory (ANT) Actor-Network Theory Admit When We Are Wrong ** We find … Continue reading Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood Stephen R. Covey
A positive relationship is one in which two people listen, communicate clearly without judgment, respect, and trust each other, as well as support, encourage, and help each other on a practical and emotional level. Credit: David Gurteen Posts where this quotation is embedded Actor-network Theory (ANT) Actor-Network Theory Admit When We Are Wrong ** We find it … Continue reading What Is a Positive Relationship? David Gurteen
If you nurture something such as a child or a young plant, you care for it while it grows and develops. Nurturing a community is not something you do directly, but instead you nurture the relationships between the people within it. Credit: David Gurteen Posts where this quotation is embedded Actor-network Theory (ANT) Actor-Network Theory Admit When … Continue reading Nurturing a Community David Gurteen
What I learnt as International Czar, 2005 | David Gurteen Posts where this video is embedded Actor-network Theory (ANT) Actor-Network Theory Admit When We Are Wrong ** We find it difficult to admit when we are wrong Avoid Anonymity Anonymity kills the conversation Avoiding Modern-day Colonialism Colonialism: the dominance, control, and exploitation by one group over another Bake Conversation Into … Continue reading What I Learnt as International Czar David Gurteen, 2005
The more traditional forms of leadership based on static hierarchies and professional distance between leaders and followers are growing increasingly outdated and ineffective. As organizations face more complex interdependent tasks, leadership must become more personal to guarantee open, trusting communication that will make collaborative problem solving and innovation possible. AustraliaAustriaBrazilCanadaChinaCzech RepublicEgyptFranceGermanyGlobalIndiaItalyJapanMexicoNetherlandsPolandSaudia ArabiaSingaporeSpainTurkeyUAEUnited KingdomUnited States … Continue reading Humble Leadership: the Power of Relationships, Openness and Trust by Edgar H. Schein, Peter A. Schein (2018)
We’re crazy, We’re living on crazy ideas about love, about relationships, about happiness, about joy, about everything. Credit: Anthony de Mello Comment: This quote by Anthony de Mello poignantly implies that many of our conventional notions and societal narratives surrounding deeply human experiences like love, relationships, and happiness are fundamentally flawed or “crazy” ideas that … Continue reading We’re Crazy Anthony de Mello
We must establish a personal connection with each other. Connection before content. Without relatedness, no work can occur. Credit: Peter Block Comment: One of the most powerful insights from Peter Block. One that should always be kept in mind when designing any meeting or gathering.Posts where this quotation is embedded Actor-network Theory (ANT) Actor-Network Theory Admit When … Continue reading Connection Before Content – Without Relatedness, No Work Can Occur Peter Block
The Speed of Trust by Stephen M. R. Covey explores the role of trust in business, organizations, and personal relationships. The main concept of the book is that trust is the basis of successful relationships, leadership, business, and society as a whole. Covey argues that trust can provide organizations and individuals with immense competitive advantages, … Continue reading The SPEED of Trust: the One Thing That Changes Everything By Stephen M. R. Covey (2006)
Relationship and connectedness are the pre-condition for change. Every meeting, every process, every training program has to get people connected first. Otherwise, the content falls on deaf ears. So small groups are an essential building block to any future you want to create. Credit: Peter Block Posts where this quotation is embedded Actor-network Theory (ANT) Actor-Network … Continue reading Relationship and Connectedness Are the Pre-condition for Change Peter Block
Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right. But power isn’t happiness, and I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less … Credit: Connor Mead in the film Ghosts of Girlfriends Past Source: Ghosts of Girlfriends PastPosts where … Continue reading The Power in All Relationships Lies with Whoever Cares Less Connor Mead in the film Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009)
A relationship is a set of mutual expectations about each other’s future behavior based on past interactions with one another. We have a relationship when we can anticipate each other’s behavior to some degree. When we say we have a ‘good relationship’, this means that we feel a certain level of comfort with the other … Continue reading What Is a Relationship? Edgar Schein and Peter Schein
Gurteen Knowledge Blog January 28, 2024, 20:53I watched the film “Nowhere in Africa” on a plane trip some years ago and jotted down this quote from the movie. In the film, Max, Jettel’s father-in-law, says this to her about his son. It resonated with something I have long felt — that in a relationship, the one … Continue reading The One Who Loves More Is vulnerable
Assumptions are the termites of relationships. Credit: Henry Winkler Posts where this quotation is embedded Actor-network Theory (ANT) Actor-Network Theory Admit When We Are Wrong ** We find it difficult to admit when we are wrong Avoid Anonymity Anonymity kills the conversation Avoiding Modern-day Colonialism Colonialism: the dominance, control, and exploitation by one group over another Bake Conversation Into All … Continue reading Assumptions Are the Termites of Relationships Henry Winkler
On Leadership … with Christien Oudshoorn | Joep C de Jong There’s nothing that makes us more free than to lose yourself in something that is bigger than yourself. I think leadership today, one of the big challenges we have, is in this world meeting each other and really finding time and a way to … Continue reading On Leadership … with Christien Oudshoorn Joep C de Jong
Despite current ads and slogans, the world doesn’t change one person at a time. It changes when networks of relationships form among people who share a common cause and vision of what’s possible. This is good news for those of us intent on creating a positive future. Rather than worry about critical mass, our work … Continue reading The World Doesn’t Change One Person at a Time Meg Wheatley
Relationships are all there is. Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else. Nothing exists in isolation. We have to stop pretending we are individuals that can go it alone. Credit: Meg Wheatley Posts where this quotation is embedded Actor-network Theory (ANT) Actor-Network Theory Admit When We Are Wrong ** We … Continue reading Relationships Are All There Is Meg Wheatley
You can’t make someone love you. You can’t force respect. You can’t mandate care. And you can’t build community. Please be careful with talk of building community. Community is a consequence of many contextual relationships intertwining over time, more like a meadow than legos. Credit: Nora Bateson Source: TwitterPosts where this quotation is embedded Actor-network Theory … Continue reading You Can’t Build Community Nora Bateson
Conversational Leadership Mindset The Impact of Cognitive Biases in Conversation Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter Conversations shape how we connect, collaborate, and solve problems. Groups often struggle to focus on the right issues, approach discussions constructively, or build a sense of community. Asking thoughtful questions can guide meaningful dialogue, ensuring conversations address vital … Continue reading Three Questions for Meaningful Conversations Clarify focus, approach, and community-building in discussions
Wisdom of Crowds of Crowds What Is the Optimum Group Size for a Conversation? Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter Small group conversations are at the heart of Conversational Leadership, but there are several challenges to be overcome if they are to be effective. Small groups | Peter Block These are some of the … Continue reading Introduction: Small Group Conversations Small groups are an essential building block to any future you want to create
Avoiding Modern-day Colonialism Spirituality Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter Edgar and Peter Schein’s four levels of relationship: Level Minus 1: Total impersonal domination and coercion. Level 1: Transactional role and rule-based supervision, service, and all forms of helping relationships. Level 2: Personal cooperative, trusting relationships as in friendships and in effective teams. Level … Continue reading Relationships ** The way in which two or more people are connected
Caring What Is Communityship? Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter Community is one of those soft, fuzzy words that many people do not fully understand and even find alienating. It is a word that gets used loosely, its meaning confused and distorted. So, what is meant by community? In business, we talk about communities of … Continue reading What Makes a Real Community? Members of a community care about each other
The Jazz of Conversations Why Face-to-face Interaction Matters ** Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter Meetings or, more generally, conversations serve two purposes. The first is obvious, and that is to fulfill their aim. The second is less obvious and is usually neglected. It is to engage each other, improve relationships, and foster a sense … Continue reading Meetings and Conversations Serve Two Purposes There is a second purpose to any meeting which we often overlook
Make Big Talk Connect People Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter Connect more: Connect with people more broadly and more deeply. We are becoming more connected with each other and less connected with each other at the same time. The Paradox We are becoming more connected with each other and less connected with each … Continue reading Connect More Connect more broadly, more deeply
Carpe Diem – Seize the Day Speak Up Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter Admit when we are wrong: We find it difficult to admit when we are wrong. Our relationships and personal development are negatively affected by this. What can we do to improve our ability to admit we’re wrong? We have a … Continue reading Admit When We Are Wrong ** We find it difficult to admit when we are wrong
Flipped Teaching The Oracy Lab Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter Team alignment and communication can be challenging. Miscommunication and lack of cohesion often result in inefficiencies and missed opportunities. As a key tool of Conversational Leadership, Huddles offer a quick, effective way for teams to connect, share updates, and maintain focus on common … Continue reading The Power of Team Huddles How brief team gatherings can align, motivate, and connect
Reframing Questions Raising the Ships on the Sea Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter Trust is the force that holds our society together. It is the glue that connects us, builds communities, and is one of the foundations on which society depends. It is vital for society to function. Our civilization would collapse totally … Continue reading Exploring the Multifaceted Roles of Trust in Relationships and Society Without trust our civilization would collapse
