Title: Conversational Leadership Café: Disagree Constructively Date: Wednesday 16th March 2022 Time: 17:00 to 19:00 GMT, London time (your time zone) The timing of this event is set to allow participants from EMEA and the Americas to join the Café, but wherever you are in the world, you are welcome to participate. Host/Speaker: David Gurteen … Continue reading Event: Conversational Leadership Café: Disagree Constructively Wednesday 16th March 2022 17:00 to 19:00 GMT (London time)
Gurteen Knowledge Blog May 3, 2021, 11:37I used to have a good friend. We could talk about absolutely anything and had some incredible conversations. He died a few years ago, and I greatly miss him. What I liked about him, but at the same time, what annoyed me was that he was a contrarian. Whenever I … Continue reading The Value of a Contrarian Thinker They help you question your beliefs
In this book, Conflicted, Ian Leslie draws essential lessons on how to disagree well from world-class experts: interrogators, hostage negotiators, divorce mediators, diplomats, and addiction counselors. It tells inspiring stories of productive disagreements, from the invention of the airplane to the success of The Rolling Stones, and combines them with fascinating insights from the science … Continue reading Conflicted: Why Arguments Are Tearing Us Apart and How They Can Bring Us Together by Ian Leslie (2021)
We don’t have a good word for engaging in a non-hostile disagreement with the shared aim of moving the participants towards a new understanding, better decision or new idea. Debate implies a competition with winners and losers. Argument comes tinged with animosity. Dialogue is too bland. Dialectic is too obscure. We talk about argument as … Continue reading We Don’t Have a Good Word for Engaging in a Non-hostile Disagreement Ian Leslie
Imagine a culture where an argument is viewed as a dance, the participants are seen as performers, and the goal is to perform in a balanced and aesthetically pleasing way. In such a culture, people would view arguments differently, experience them differently, carry them out differently, and talk about them differently. But we would probably … Continue reading Imagine a Culture Where an Argument Is Viewed as a Dance George Lakoff and Mark Johnsen
Productive disagreement depends on how people feel about each other. We spend a lot of time thinking about how to argue, and not enough on how to shape the relationship that will define how the engagement goes. It’s often said that in order to disagree well, people need to put emotions aside and think purely … Continue reading Productive Disagreement Depends on How People Feel About Each Other Ian Leslie
How to have constructive conversations | Julia Dhar Videos: Julia DharHow to Disagree Productively and Find Common Ground Julia DharHow to Have Constructive Conversations Julia DharTags: constructive disagreement (17) | conversation (186) | curiosity (18) | Julia Dhar (2)Google Web Search Photo Credits: Gerd Altmann (CC0 1.0)This page is part of a blook on Conversational Leadership. Parts … Continue reading How to Have Constructive Conversations Julia Dhar
How to disagree productively and find common ground | Julia Dhar Videos: Julia DharHow to Disagree Productively and Find Common Ground Julia DharHow to Have Constructive Conversations Julia DharTags: constructive disagreement (17) | disagreement (12) | Julia Dhar (2)Google Web Search Photo Credits: Gerd Altmann (CC0 1.0)This page is part of a blook on Conversational Leadership. Parts … Continue reading How to Disagree Productively and Find Common Ground Julia Dhar
Love Your Enemies — Disagree Better, Not Less | Arthur Brooks People: Arthur BrooksArthur C. Brooks American social scientistBooks: Arthur BrooksLove Your Enemies: How Decent People Can Save America From Our Culture of Contempt: Arthur C. Brooks (2019)Videos: Arthur BrooksLove Your Enemies — Disagree Better, Not Less Arthur BrooksLove Your Enemies — Say No to … Continue reading Love Your Enemies — Disagree Better, Not Less Arthur Brooks
Disagreeability needs to make a roaring comeback. Credit: Eric Weinstein Quotations: Eric_WeinsteinDisagreeability Needs to Make a Roaring Comeback Eric WeinsteinTags: constructive disagreement (17) | disagreement (12) | Eric Weinstein (1)Google Web Search Photo Credits: Pixabay (Pixabay)This quotation is part of a blook on Conversational Leadership. It is one of many quotations that have influenced my thinking … Continue reading Disagreeability Needs to Make a Roaring Comeback Eric Weinstein
Love Your Enemies — Say No To Contempt | Arthur Brooks People: Arthur BrooksArthur C. Brooks American social scientistBooks: Arthur BrooksLove Your Enemies: How Decent People Can Save America From Our Culture of Contempt: Arthur C. Brooks (2019)Videos: Arthur BrooksLove Your Enemies — Disagree Better, Not Less Arthur BrooksLove Your Enemies — Say No to … Continue reading Love Your Enemies — Say No to Contempt Arthur Brooks
Rule Omega | Jordan Greenhall, Daniel Schmachtenberger, and Jamie Wheal Give people the benefit of the doubt: When having a conversation with someone to make sense of a situation or discuss new ideas and they say something that you consider stupid, don’t tell them it’s a stupid idea but ask them to expand on their … Continue reading Rule Omega Jordan Greenhall, Daniel Schmachtenberger, and Jamie Wheal (2019)
To have a productive conversation, participants must possess several conversational capacities. In two articles, Conversation and Silence, Part One, and Conversations That Matter: What It Takes to Have Them, Dave Pollard lists seven prerequisites or capacities for an effective or real conversation – one that fulfills one or more purposes. The list below is adapted from his work: The … Continue reading Conversational Capacities Prerequisites to a good conversation
To discredit someone means to cause them to lose people’s respect or trust. We acquire most of our knowledge by accepting the beliefs of those people or institutions we trust, so discrediting authority figures or institutions is one of the most effective, though immoral, ways of opposing an idea. In practicing Conversational Leadership, we should … Continue reading Discrediting People ** Cause them to lose the respect or trust of others
When discussing a controversial topic, it is easy for the discussion to become hostile and for the participants to launch ad hominem attacks, thus creating a climate of fear. Participants need to agree to a set of rules upfront that helps create a safer psychological environment to explore ideas openly. What is a conversation covenant? … Continue reading Conversation Covenant Creating a psychologically safer space for impossible conversations
Disagree constructively: Disagreement is an inevitable part of life. Most of the time, we do it poorly. We need to learn to disagree constructively. How do we go about it? A simple disagreement hierarchy provides guidance. Disagreement is an inevitable part of life. But unfortunately, we mostly do it poorly. Paul Graham’s disagreement hierarchy provides … Continue reading Disagree Constructively How to disagree well
An impossible conversation may feel futile as it occurs between individuals who possess radically different ideas, beliefs, morals, politics, or worldviews. Such conversations are likely to lead to arguments and even physical altercations. So, how can we engage in impossible conversations? To engage in an impossible conversation, all parties must establish certain preconditions and be … Continue reading Impossible Conversations Navigating conversations across ideological divides
