Speed-conversation Without relatedness, no work can occur

At the start of a meeting or workshop, people often arrive as strangers, unsure of one another. This can make it difficult to relax and engage in open conversation. Speed-conversation is a simple way to break the ice, build personal connections and set the tone for more meaningful conversations.

Sometimes speed-conversation is called speed-networking, but I prefer speed-conversation because it is much more about conversation than networking.

How to run a speed-conversation session

You will need a device to attract people’s attention. I use a whistle.

You don’t necessarily need a whistle, but try shouting over the din of 30 or more people chatting away, and you may go out and buy one for the next event. However, another sound-making device of your choice will do.

I use an Acme Thunderer, the world’s first reliable pea whistle, invented in 1884 by Joseph Hudson in Birmingham, England. Over 160 million have been sold worldwide! I carry it with me at all times on my key ring.

The Process

This is how the process works:

• Briefly explain the process
• Blow your whistle once
• Everyone finds a partner – someone whom they do not know
• They have two minutes to have a conversation with them
• Blow your whistle again and ask people to swap partners
• Allow two minutes for further conversation
• Repeat this procedure 3 or 4 times
• Finally, blow your whistle twice to indicate the end of the session

The question

Some facilitators explicitly tell people what to discuss, such as “Why are you here today?” or “What do you hope to learn today?” As a host, I never do this as I think people can decide what to talk about for themselves. Often, the best conversations are spontaneous ones.

I recall once, at a conference, a good friend, Paul, facilitated a speed conversation session at the start of the day. He told us what to talk about. I don’t recall the question. As always, I ignored the instructions and got into a far more interesting conversation with my partner. I wanted to know who they were and where they were from, something more personal.

At the end of the session, Paul called upon several people in the room to share the outcome of their discussion. Because he knew me well, he called on me first, and I had to admit we hadn’t discussed his question. I did not feel embarrassed at all.

Rationale

In just ten minutes, you can cycle four times. This simple process works exceptionally well and can be expanded or contracted depending on available time.

I tell people it’s a bit like speed-dating, but you don’t get to date and then add, but there is no rule against it! This always gets a laugh :-)

We must establish a personal connection with each other.

Connection before content.

Without relatedness, no work can occur.

Credit: Peter Block

Recent research (Friends With Cognitive Benefits – What Types of Social Interactions Boost Executive Functioning? by Oscar Ybarra, Piotr Winkielman, Irene Yeh, Eugene Burnstein, Liam Kavanagh) shows that friendly conversation makes it easier to solve everyday problems. However, competitive conversations, rather than cooperative ones, offer no cognitive benefits and suppress problem-solving ability.

This is why the Café starts with a short, fast-paced conversation session. It relaxes people, gets them talking about uncontroversial things, and boosts their thinking ability.

Next time you bring a group of people together, try starting with ten minutes of speed-conversation. You don’t need complicated instructions or set questions. Simply give people the opportunity to meet, talk and connect. It’s a small step that can make a real difference to the conversations that follow.