Productive disagreement depends on how people feel about each other.
We spend a lot of time thinking about how to argue, and not enough on how to shape the relationship that will define how the engagement goes.
It’s often said that in order to disagree well, people need to put emotions aside and think purely rationally, but this is a myth.
Disagreeing productively requires a bond of trust: a sense that we are ultimately working with, and not against, each other.
That’s an inherently emotional question as well as a cognitive one …
People are not purely rational, and acting as if they are leads to dysfunction.
We release the full potential of this disagreement when we incorporate our unreasonableness into the process.
Credit: Ian Leslie
Comment: This quotation ties in well with the advice from Peter Block Connection before content – without relatedness, no work can occur.Source: Conflicted (Page 55, paperback edition)
Posts where this quotation is embedded
- Disagree Constructively How to disagree well
Quotations: Ian Leslie (1)
Videos: Ian Leslie (1)
Image Credits: Pixabay
(Pixabay)In-person, 7–11 September 2026, Warbrook House, Hampshire, UK
We are living and working in conditions of uncertainty, complexity, and rapid change. Many leadership approaches still rely on control, expertise, and tools that no longer fit the realities people face.
This week-long immersive workshop brings people together to practise Conversational Leadership as a shared, lived experience. It is not a training course but a space to slow down, think together, and explore how leadership emerges through dialogue, responsibility, and real engagement.