Conversational Capacities Prerequisites to a good conversation

To have a productive conversation, participants must possess several conversational capacities.

In two articles, Conversation and Silence, Part One, and Conversations That Matter: What It Takes to Have Them, Dave Pollard lists seven prerequisites or capacities for an effective or real conversation – one that fulfills one or more purposes.

The list below is adapted from his work:

1. The capacity to be open to other challenging ideas and perspectives: There is no point in trying to collaborate with someone who is either incapable of considering or unwilling to consider different possibilities.
   
   If someone is totally set in their beliefs or utterly lacking in imagination, the conversation is futile.
2.  The capacity to articulate one’s thoughts: Articulation is the ability to convey one’s thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and perspectives clearly.
   
   If someone cannot adequately articulate their opinions, it is difficult to understand them and engage in conversation.
3. The capacity to be socially fluent: The emotional engagement and sensitivity to appreciate (and show appreciation for) others’ thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and perspectives and see how and why they might be different from one’s own.
4. The capacity to think critically: The ability to draw inferences, challenge assumptions, weigh evidence, and synthesize information is essential in developing a rational and thoughtful worldview and belief system.
   
   If you, or those you are conversing with, lack these skills, you can’t possibly hope to reason with them.
5. The capacity to be curious: An eager wish to know or learn about things. To ask why and to inquire into cause and effect.
   
   If someone is not curious, they are unlikely to ask probing questions, and the resulting conversation may be bland.
6. The capacity to be creative/imaginative: Some people, for various reasons, are just shut down and unwilling to consider anything that doesn’t jibe with their ideology or belief set; others, through lack of practice, have lost the capacity to imagine anything that isn’t simple and obvious or to put themselves in another’s shoes.
   
   Conversations with such people are likely to be just frustrating and pointless.
7. The capacity to pay attention: We live in a world of attention deficit, distraction, and information overload. In such a world, listening and paying attention are challenging and take practice.
   
   If those you’re conversing with don’t have and use these skills, they won’t hear you, so you’re wasting your breath.

Credit: Adapted from the work of Dave Pollard: Conversation and Silence, Part One, and Conversations That Matter: What It Takes to Have Them, under a Creative Commons Licence. 

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