Impossible Conversations Navigating conversations across ideological divides

Difficult Conversations

Introduction: Conversational Leadership Skills

An impossible conversation may feel futile as it occurs between individuals who possess radically different ideas, beliefs, morals, politics, or worldviews. Such conversations are likely to lead to arguments and even physical altercations. So, how can we engage in impossible conversations?

To engage in an impossible conversation, all parties must establish certain preconditions and be willing to rethink their beliefs while adhering to some agreed-upon rules of engagement, such as a  conversation covenant.

The Way Forward | Peter Boghossian (source)

Ten of Peter’s principles, strategies, and techniques that can be used to engage in impossible conversations (taken from his book How to Have Impossible Conversations) are listed below.

An impossible conversation feels futile because it takes place between people who hold radically different ideas, beliefs, morals, politics, or worldviews. It is one where people are likely to argue and even fight if no rules are governing the conservation.

1. 00:09:52 Listen 
2. 00:12:47 Criticize constructively 
3. 00:14:20 Ask how do you know that 
4. 00:16:18 Ask the other person to place their belief on a scale 
5. 00:19:14 Ask a disconfirmation question 
6. 00:24:40 Don't say 'yes but' say 'yes and' 
7. 00:25:35 Build golden bridges (save face) 
8. 00:26:32 Don't apologize 
9. 00:27:32 Be sincere 
10. 00:29:02 Be willing to revise your beliefs and say you don't know 
11. 00:30:18 Summary of points 

Resources

• Book Summary: How to Have Impossible Conversations – A Very Practical Guide

Posts that link to this post

•  Together • Ensemble: Dream Big for Europe David Gurteen, Obhi Chatterjee & Julie Guégan
•  Knowledge Café Principle: Create a Safe Space Where conversation can flourish
•  Conversation Covenant Creating a psychologically safer space for difficult conversations
•  What Is a Conversation Covenant? David Gurteen and David Creelman
•  Rethinking Our Beliefs It is not easy to change our beliefs

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