Talk More: How do you start to practice Conversational Leadership? That’s easy. Start talking. Talk more!
All we need to do is to make sure we keep talking | Stephen Hawking (source)
Talk more
An essential aspect of Conversational Leadership is to talk more, but of course, it is far more than that.
By talking more, I don’t mean talking at people but talking with people, which means conversations. I am also not suggesting that you should speak about trivia or dominate conversations by talking more, far from it.
We need to make and take more opportunities to have real conversations with others about issues that matter.
The ability to easily and naturally talk with people is a critical interpersonal skill if we wish to practice Conversational Leadership.
Develop the habit of talking more
At first, don’t worry too much about whom you speak with, what you talk about, or the quality of your conversations. Just start talking more.
Begin to develop the habit of naturally initiating conversations and feeling comfortable.
Maybe set yourself the challenge of speaking with one new person daily or talking more deeply with someone you regularly interact with.
Talk more to the people that you know
Given our modern-day communications technologies, it is far too easy to avoid talking with people face-to-face and to communicate via email or instant messaging. Don’t dehumanize the conversation; talk face-to-face whenever you can.
I understand that, at times, using technology can’t be avoided when you are at a distance from someone, but when they are close, there is no excuse for not talking with them face-to-face.
Talk more to strangers
Talk more with people you know and those you naturally work with and interact with daily and start to communicate with people you don’t know — talk with strangers. In a work context, this may be someone in another department or a social context; it may be a neighbor or someone standing in line at the supermarket or coffee shop.
Start talking in your own time and way until you are comfortable talking with strangers.
What should you talk about?
Interestingly, research shows that engaging in short friendly conversations boosts performance on a variety of cognitive tasks.
So initially, don’t worry too much. Talk about anything. Make small talk. Get more comfortable with striking up conversations and deepening existing relationships.
Start by just talking more. Build relationships. You can graduate from small talk to big talk later.
No permission required
Talking more is a habit that requires no training, no resources, or consent.
It’s easy — you can start to talk more this very minute. You can hold more conversations.
You don’t even need to talk to new people. Just speak with the people you already know and regularly interact with.
Moreover, you needn’t tell people you are doing anything different.
Just commit yourself to talking more.
Suggestions
The suggestions below are rather obvious, and I am sure you can think of many more of your own that suit your situation and personality.
- don’t have a sandwich at your desk — make time for lunch
- take coffee breaks with other people, and don’t take your coffee back to your desk
- make time for a coffee or a drink after work
- talk to everyone you meet, even if you do not know them
- start a chat in the elevator or at the coffee machine
- talk to the doorman, the security guard, the cleaner
- find excuses to communicate with people whom you do not know
- invite people for breakfast, coffee, lunch, and dinner
- don’t email — meet in person if you can or pick up the phone
It is simple — talk more — start to take a more conversational approach to life.
Resources
- Article: Feel more connected – how to find the time to talk every day
- Psychology Today: 10 Tips to Talk About Anything With Anyone
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