Talk More The essence of Conversational Leadership is to talk with people more

Talk more: Work has become efficient, mediated, and strangely quiet. We avoid face to face contact and replace conversation with messages. We should start more conversations with people around us, including those we already know and those we do not.

Talk more

An essential aspect of Conversational Leadership is to talk more, but of course, it is far more than that.

By talking more, I don’t mean talking at people but talking with people, which means conversations. I am also not suggesting that you should speak about trivia or dominate conversations by talking more, far from it.

We need to make and take more opportunities to have real conversations with others about issues that matter.

The ability to talk with people easily and naturally is a critical interpersonal skill if we wish to practice Conversational Leadership.

Develop the habit of talking more

At first, don’t worry too much about whom you speak with, what you talk about, or the quality of your conversations. Just start talking more.

Begin to develop the habit of naturally initiating conversations and feeling comfortable.

Maybe set yourself the challenge of speaking with one new person daily or talking more deeply with someone you regularly interact with.

Talk more to the people that you know

Given our modern-day communications technologies, it is far too easy to avoid talking with people face-to-face and to communicate via email or instant messaging. Don’t dehumanize the conversation; talk face-to-face whenever you can.

I understand that, at times, using technology can’t be avoided when you are at a distance from someone, but when they are close, there is no excuse for not talking with them face-to-face.

Talk more to strangers

Talk more with people you know and naturally work with and interact with daily, and start communicating with people you don’t know—talk with strangers. In a work context, this may be someone in another department; in a social context, it may be a neighbor or someone standing in line at the supermarket or a coffee shop.

Start talking in your own time and in your own way until you are comfortable talking with strangers.

What should you talk about?

Interestingly, research shows that engaging in short, friendly conversations boosts performance on a variety of cognitive tasks.

So initially, don’t worry too much. Talk about anything. Make small talk. Get more comfortable with striking up conversations and deepening existing relationships.

Start by just talking more. Build relationships. You can graduate from small talk to big talk later.

No permission required

Talking more is a habit that requires no training, no resources, or consent.

It’s easy—you can start to talk more this very minute. You can hold more conversations.

You don’t even need to talk to new people. Just speak with the people you already know and interact with regularly.

Moreover, you needn’t tell people you are doing anything different.

Just commit yourself to talking more.

Suggestions

The suggestions below are rather obvious, and I am sure you can think of many more of your own that suit your situation and personality.

• Step away from your desk at lunchtime and eat with others
• Take coffee breaks with people, not back to your desk
• Make time for a coffee or a drink after work
• Talk with people you meet, even if you do not know them
• Start a conversation in the elevator or by the coffee machine
• Talk with the doorman, the security guard, and the cleaner
• Look for simple reasons to speak with people you do not know
• Invite people to join you for breakfast, coffee, lunch, or dinner
• Meet in person when you can, or pick up the phone instead of emailing

Conversation is not an extra. We choose it. When we slow down to talk, we reduce waste, avoid confusion, and make better decisions. We can start small, one conversation at a time, and notice where a few minutes of talking saves hours later.

Resources

• Article: Feel more connected – how to find the time to talk every day
• Psychology Today: 10 Tips to Talk About Anything With Anyone