an online book by David Gurteen
An engagement or betrothal is the period of time between the declaration of acceptance of a marriage proposal and the marriage itself (which is typically but not always commenced with a wedding). During this period, a couple is said to be fiancés (from the French), 'betrothed', 'intended', 'affianced', 'engaged to be married', or simply 'engaged'. Future brides and grooms may be called fiancée (feminine) or fiancé (masculine), 'the betrothed', a 'wife-to-be' or 'husband-to-be', respectively. The duration of the courtship varies vastly, and is largely dependent on cultural norms or upon the agreement of the parties involved.
Long engagements were once common in formal arranged marriages, and it was not uncommon for parents betrothing children to arrange marriages many years before the engaged couple were old enough. This is still done in some countries.
Many traditional Christian denominations have optional rites for Christian betrothal (also known as 'blessing an engaged couple' or 'declaration of intention') that bless and ratify the intent of a couple to marry before God and the Church.
Credit: Wikipedia - engagementWithout dialogue, we extinguish ideas, we cover up wrongdoing, the quality of our decision-making deteriorates and our engagement plummets. Credit: Megan Reitz Source: Megan Reitz website homepage 31 Oct 2019Posts where this quotation is embedded Artificial Intelligence and the Quest for Knowledge Exploring the parallels between Plato’s Phaedrus and the challenges of GenAI Bake Conversation Into All … Continue reading Without Dialogue Megan Reitz
True Eureka innovation is not going to happen by an internal training programme but from engagement in the real world. Credit: Dave Snowden Posts where this quotation is embedded Artificial Intelligence and the Quest for Knowledge Exploring the parallels between Plato’s Phaedrus and the challenges of GenAI Bake Conversation Into All That We Do ** There are … Continue reading True Eureka Innovation Is Only Going to Happen by Engagement in the Real World Dave Snowden
Gurteen Knowledge Blog June 5, 2021, 09:02If we are to boost engagement and ownership, not buy-in, we must stop trying to do things to each other. So many of the problems we face in our organizations and society revolve around the fact that we are always trying to do things to each other – to change … Continue reading We Must Stop Trying to Do Things to Each Other And encourage engagement and ownership
A new future is created when each gathering (or meeting) becomes an opportunity to deepen accountability and commitment through engagement. It doesn’t matter what the stated purpose of the gathering is. Each gathering serves two functions: (1) to address its stated purpose and (2) to be an occasion for each person to decide to become … Continue reading A Gathering Serves Two Functions Peter Block
Questions are more transforming than answers. The skill is getting the questions right. The traditional conversations that seek to explain, study, analyze, define tools, and express the desire to change others are interesting but not powerful. Questions open the door to the future and are more powerful than answers in that they demand engagement. Engagement … Continue reading Questions Are More Transforming Than Answers Peter Block
Leadership begins with understanding that every gathering is an opportunity to deepen accountability and commitment through engagement. It doesn’t matter what the stated purpose of the gathering is. Each gathering serves two functions: to address its stated purpose, its business issues; and to be an occasion for each person to decide to become engaged as … Continue reading How Leadership Begins Peter Block
How can you recognize communityship? That’s easy. You have found it when you walk into an organization and are struck by the energy in the place, the personal commitment of the people and their collective engagement in what they are doing. These people don’t have to be formally empowered because they are naturally engaged. The … Continue reading How Can You Recognize Communityship? Henry Mintzberg
People sit in a circle, with the intention of de-emphasizing hierarchies and instead encouraging what’s called “a leader in every chair”. To create the mindfulness and focus conducive to an environment where everyone collaborates and contributes, meetings begin with a minute of silence. Credit: Amy Edmondson Posts where this quotation is embedded Artificial Intelligence and the Quest … Continue reading Encouraging “a Leader in Every Chair” Amy Edmondson
Introduction: Conversational Habits Talk More Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter Make time to talk: One of the reasons we frequently give for not taking a more conversational approach to our work or life is a lack of time. Some of us even see conversation as a waste of time, but lack of time … Continue reading Make Time to Talk The lack of time for conversation is just an excuse
Spirituality Signal-to-noise Ratio Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter Life presents numerous challenges and opportunities. It is crucial to identify areas under our control versus those beyond our influence. The “Circles of Engagement” model guides us in directing efforts where they can create meaningful change. Circle of Concern and a Circle of Influence Stephen … Continue reading Circles of Engagement ** Aligning efforts with impact
The Jazz of Conversations Why Face-to-face Interaction Matters ** Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter Meetings or, more generally, conversations serve two purposes. The first is obvious, and that is to fulfill their aim. The second is less obvious and is usually neglected. It is to engage each other, improve relationships, and foster a sense … Continue reading Meetings and Conversations Serve Two Purposes There is a second purpose to any meeting which we often overlook
Reading Group Café Marketing Café ** Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter An Engagement Café is a form of Knowledge Café designed to help people engage with an issue such as a new policy or procedure in the context of their organization. The problem Individuals and workgroups in organizations frequently write policy documents and … Continue reading Engagement Café Conversation is king. Content is just something to talk about.
Marketing Café ** Future Café Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter One of the fundamental philosophies underpinning Conversational Leadership is the need to stop talking at people and to start to talk with them. We need to give fewer presentations and convene more conversations. This philosophy applies to sales situations, whether we are trying to … Continue reading Sales Café Ditch the pitch – create sales conversations
The Huawei Break the Book Community Knowledge Café in Zurich, Switzerland Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter This story about a Personal Growth Community (PGC) was written by Jan Hellberg – a Patent Examiner at the European Patent Office in the Hague. A PGC is an adaptation of the Knowledge Café process to encourage … Continue reading Knowledge Cafés at the European Patent Office The Personal Growth Community
Gossip and Lashon Hara Ownership, Not Buy-in Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter Effective leadership is vital for driving positive change in a complex world. However, many view leadership as a position of authority rather than a practice accessible to all. We can create a more engaged and sustainable society by recognizing that anyone … Continue reading Leadership Is a Practice Not a Position of Authority Anyone can practice leadership
Leadership Is a Practice Not a Position of Authority Shared Meaning Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter One of the most significant mistakes we often commit when striving to initiate change is trying to enforce things upon others. We identify problems, create visions, manifestos, strategies, and plans to implement so-called solutions (there are no … Continue reading Ownership, Not Buy-in We need to move from buy-in to ownership
Turn Monologues Into Dialogues Speak with Less Conviction Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter Take responsibility for the conversation: A few participants dominate many conversations, and as a result, there is no real engagement or energy in the discussion. How can this be resolved? The solution is for us all to take responsibility for … Continue reading Take Responsibility for the Conversation ** We all need to take responsibility for the quality of our conversations
When It Comes to Lectures, Appearances Can Be Deceiving ** Learn to Listen and to Tell the Truth Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter Whether it is our educational systems or the presentations we give at conferences, we focus far too much on filling people’s heads with content. It is not an effective way … Continue reading The Mind Is a Fire to Be Kindled Not a vessel to be filled
Genuine Commitment Engagement ** Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. Credit: Stephen Covey Economists and workplace consultants regard it as almost unquestioned dogma that people are motivated by rewards, so … Continue reading Motivation ** Motivation is a fire from within
Motivation ** Punished by Rewards Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter Organizations live or die in the swarm of daily interchange — in complimenting and criticizing, passing and retaining information, smiling and frowning, asking and answering, demanding and resisting, controlling and consenting. What injects meaning into one’s work is derived neither from the individual … Continue reading Engagement ** Organizations live or die in the swarm of daily interchange
Engagement ** The Difference Between Responsibility and Accountability Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter It is often suggested that offering rewards is necessary to motivate people, particularly when it comes to sharing their knowledge. However, this strategy is ultimately ineffective and potentially harmful in the long run. In his book Punished by Rewards, Alfie … Continue reading Punished by Rewards Loving what you do is a more powerful motivator than any goody
The Difference Between Responsibility and Accountability Introduction: Motivation and Engagement ** Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter To encourage engagement and ownership, we must stop trying to do things to each other. People often ask me, “How do you make people share?” or “How do you make people adopt social tools?” or, more generally, … Continue reading We Need to Stop Trying to Do Things to Each Other And start working together
Knowledge Café History Knowledge Café Applications Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter The outcomes of a Knowledge Café are not tangible outcomes such as decisions, plans, or consensus. The outcomes are what the participants take away in their heads. In its unadapted form, the Knowledge Café is not about traditional tangible outcomes. It is … Continue reading Knowledge Café Outcomes The outcomes are what you take away in your head
