Speak Last Learn to be the last to speak

When practicing conversational leadership, one of the most transformative habits you can develop is learning to speak last. It sounds simple, doesn’t it? But in practice, it can be surprisingly challenging—and incredibly powerful.

Imagine this: you’re in a meeting. You’re the senior manager, the leader, the person everyone looks to for guidance. The temptation to start the discussion, to set the tone, to share your perspective first, can be almost irresistible. After all, isn’t that what leaders do? Lead?

But here’s the thing—when you speak first, something subtle but significant happens. Whether you mean to or not, you’re shaping the entire conversation. Your team may agree out of respect or deference, or they may hold back ideas they fear might conflict with yours. The result? You miss out on the full range of perspectives, insights, and creativity that your team has to offer.

Now, consider the alternative. You hold back. You let others speak first. You listen—not just superficially but deeply, with an open mind. What happens then? People feel heard. They feel valued. And they feel empowered to share their thoughts honestly and openly. That changes everything.

When you speak last, you’re not just gathering information; you’re building trust. You’re showing your team that their opinions matter, that their expertise and insights are respected. And here’s the paradox: by stepping back, you actually strengthen your leadership. You create a space where ideas can flourish, where collaboration can thrive, and where decisions are made based on the best input, not just the loudest voice.

But it’s not just about the quality of the ideas. There’s a cultural shift that happens when leaders make a habit of speaking last. You’re modeling a behavior—thoughtful listening, genuine curiosity, and respect for others—that ripples through the organization. People notice. They follow suit. And before you know it, you’ve fostered a culture where everyone feels safe to contribute, where diverse opinions are welcomed, and where better decisions emerge as a result.

This isn’t a tactic to wield power quietly or a way to manipulate outcomes. It’s about cultivating the humility and self-awareness to recognize that leadership is as much about listening as it is about directing. It’s about understanding that the best answers often come not from the top but from the collective wisdom of the team.

So, the next time you’re in a meeting, try it. Pause. Hold your thoughts. Listen deeply. Let everyone have their say, and then—and only then—speak. You may find that what you say is more informed, more balanced, and more impactful. And you’ll have shown, through your actions, that great leadership is about creating space for others to shine.

If you want to genuinely understand others’ opinions, listen to them before expressing your views. Speak last.