People see themselves as the hero of their own story. This makes it easy to justify actions, even when they harm others. Understanding this can open the door to real conversations instead of endless conflict.
Everybody believes they’re the good guy | Amaryllis FoxI have spent the best years of my life giving people the lighter pleasures, helping them have a good time, and all I get is abuse, the existence of a hunted man.
Credit: Al Capone
In the above video by former CIA undercover officer Amaryllis Fox, she points out two simple truths that she thinks her work has taught her:
andEverybody believes they're the good guy.
and A Spy Rebuilds Life after War | Amaryllis FoxThe only real way to disarm your enemy is to listen to them.
Recognizing that everyone believes they are the good guy can change how we approach conflict. Instead of reacting with anger, try listening. Understanding the other person’s perspective doesn’t mean agreeing, but it can lead to better conversations and fewer misunderstandings. A small shift in approach can make a big difference.
Things Todo
- Reflect: The next time someone deliberately harms you. If they will talk with you in good-faith – talk with them, listen to them. You may get to understand each other better and come away friends.
Resources
- Psychology Today: Why Bad Guys Think They’re Good Guys
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