To practice Conversational Leadership, it is essential to understand the difference between Conversational Leadership mindset, skills, habits, and methods.
This chapter focuses on habits
A Conversational Leadership mindset is our mental attitudes, approaches, or ways of thinking about practicing Conversational Leadership. Our beliefs, values, and experiences shape it, impacting our ability to hold productive conversations and practice effective leadership.
Conversational Leadership skills involve facilitating open and constructive conversations, actively listening, building trust, and empowering others to collaborate towards shared goals.
Conversational Leadership habits are how we use those abilities daily, such as avoiding judgment, showing empathy, and being present in a conversation. We develop these habits and tendencies over time through repeated actions and experiences.
Conversational Leadership methods are structured conversational processes that bring a group of people together to discuss a topic or an issue.
Developing our Conversational Leadership mindset, skills, habits, and methods improves our ability to lead and communicate effectively.
Tag: habits (10)
Habits can be classified in various ways, but two commonly recognized ways are micro-habits and macro-habits.
Micro-habits
In the context of Conversational Leadership, a micro-habit is a small, often subconscious action that is regularly performed, which can positively or negatively impact a conversation. We can learn to recognize and develop or eliminate these habits over time.
Positive habits include:
Nodding: A subtle yet powerful way to communicate active listening and engagement is through nodding.
Mirroring: Mirroring or reflecting the body language of the person you are speaking with can help build rapport and create a sense of connection.
Smiling: Smiling can help create a positive and friendly atmosphere in a conversation and communicate warmth and approachability.
Negative habits include:
Interrupting: Cutting off others mid-conversation; overcome by being patient and actively listening.
Body language: Nonverbal cues like crossing arms or not maintaining eye contact can subconsciously affect conversation; awareness and conscious adjustments can help.
Negative self-talk: Self-criticism or doubt in conversational ability can affect confidence; overcome with positive affirmations and self-reminders of strengths.
Macro-habits
A macro-habit, on the other hand, is a conscious decision or larger action that is performed regularly. These habits require more effort and discipline to establish and maintain, but they also have a greater impact.
Macro-habits include:
Active listening: Consistently trying to hear and respond appropriately to the other person by making eye contact and avoiding distractions.
Being present in conversations: Consciously engaging in the conversation by actively listening, responding thoughtfully, and asking questions to deepen your understanding.
Practicing empathy: Consistently putting yourself in the other person’s shoes by actively listening, responding with care, and avoiding judgment or criticism.
The habits described in this chapter are mainly macro-habits.
Conversational Leadership Habits
- Make Time to Talk The lack of time for conversation is just an excuse
- Talk More The essence of Conversational Leadership is to talk with people more
- Talk with Strangers Why and how should you talk with strangers?
- Make Big Talk Make big talk not small talk
- Connect More Connect more broadly, more deeply
- Connect People Purposefully connect people with each other
- Eat with Others We should make it a priority to eat with others whenever possible
- Construct Steel Positions Not Straw Ones We need to learn to argue more effectively to get at the truth
- Ask Questions ** Be curious - ask more questions
- Converse in Good Faith Be sincere, fair, open, and honest, regardless of the outcome
- Say So, If We Don’t Have an Opinion It's perfectly OK to say ‘Sorry, I don’t know’
- Carpe Diem – Seize the Day Seize the day everyone
- Admit When We Are Wrong ** We find it difficult to admit when we are wrong
- Speak Up Express our opinions frankly and openly
- Speak Last Learn to be the last to speak
- Speak in Plain Language We should use everyday natural language that everyone understands.
- Turn Monologues Into Dialogues Talk with people rather than talk at them
- Take Responsibility for the Conversation ** We all need to take responsibility for the quality of our conversations
- Speak with Less Conviction Speaking with conviction inhibits learning
- Disagree Constructively How to disagree well
- Reduce Emailing and Texting ** Start talking
- Show Respect Failing to respect one another negatively impacts the future for all of us
- Tell the Truth Lies distort the world
- Listen to Ignite Thinking Listening is not a passive act - it's a powerful act of creation
- Listen Empathically ** Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply
- Listen with the Intent to Understand Don't listen with the intent to reply
- Don’t Discourage Dissent Fear, uncertainty and doubt are good things
- Don’t Give Advice Especially when it is sought
- Banter with Care Banter: the playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks
- Stop Ditting Ditting is the dubious art of trumping the previous person's story
- Hold Strong Opinions Weakly ** I have no doctrine, I carry on a dialogue
- Don’t Give Speeches Convene conversations
- Avoid Anonymity Anonymity kills the conversation
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In daily work one of the places where most of conversations happen are f2f group meetings (board meeting, staff meeting, team meeting, management meeting, project meeting, etc.), mostly held in conference rooms. They are often recurring meetings, such as every Thursday board meeting from 9 to 11 am.
It is well known that these meetings occupy a large part of the work time but are rarely satisfying. There is a clear need to improve these meetings.
How could “conversational leadership” contribute to solve this problem?
Oh a very nice question Marco. Thank you. Let me refect on that and get back to you :-)
best wishes David