Chapter: The Power of Conversation

Conversation is the way that humans have always thought together. In conversation we discover shared meaning. It is the primal human organizing tool.

Even in the corridors of power, very little real action happens in debate, but rather in the side rooms, the hallways, the lunches, the times away from the ritual spaces of authority and in the relaxed spaces of being human.

In all of our design of meetings, engagement, planning or whatever, if you aren't building conversation into the process, you will not benefit from the collective power and wisdom of humans thinking together.

These are not 'soft' processes. This is how wars get started and how wars end. It's how money is made, lives started, freedom realized. It is the core human organizing competency.

Credit: Meg Wheatley

In this chapter, I explore the power of conversation. The chapter consists of an electric mix of insights into the nature and power of conversation.

Principles of Conversational Leadership

Conversational Leadership

Introduction: the Power of Conversation A powerful, adaptable human technology

What Is the Difference Between Rhetoric and Oracy? What Is a Real Conversation? Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Conversation is a form of interactive, spontaneous communication between two or more people. Typically it occurs in spoken … Continue reading Introduction: the Power of Conversation A powerful, adaptable human technology

What Is a Real Conversation? There is more to conversation than just talking or exchanging messages

Introduction: the Power of Conversation The Language of Conversation and Speech Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close What is a conversation? Is an argument or a debate a conversation? Is an exchange of SMS messages a conversation? … Continue reading What Is a Real Conversation? There is more to conversation than just talking or exchanging messages

The Language of Conversation and Speech Meanings of words describing conversation and speech

What Is a Real Conversation? The Value of Conversation ** Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Numerous words or phrases describe the varied forms of conversation and speech. This page lists some of the more common ones … Continue reading The Language of Conversation and Speech Meanings of words describing conversation and speech

The Value of Conversation ** Why are conversations so valuable?

The Language of Conversation and Speech The Purposes of Conversation Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Continue reading The Value of Conversation ** Why are conversations so valuable?

The Purposes of Conversation Real conversation serves one or more purposes

The Value of Conversation ** Conversational Capacities Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Real conversation serves one or more purposes. In The Patterns of Effective Conversation, Dave Pollard lists ten generic purposes of conversation. The list below is … Continue reading The Purposes of Conversation Real conversation serves one or more purposes

Conversational Capacities Prerequisites to a good conversation

The Purposes of Conversation Levels of Conversation ** Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close To have a productive conversation, participants must possess several conversational capacities. In two articles, Conversation and Silence, Part One, and Conversations That Matter: What It … Continue reading Conversational Capacities Prerequisites to a good conversation

Levels of Conversation ** Four levels of conversation

Conversational Capacities Dialogue Vs Debate ** Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Introduction Conversations can be categorized according to level in many ways, depending on the purpose of the categorization. For example, how different styles of conversation … Continue reading Levels of Conversation ** Four levels of conversation

Dialogue Vs Debate ** Exploring together vs winning

Levels of Conversation ** Conversation Is a Dance ** Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Debate Dialogue Assumes there is a right answer and you have it. Assumes many people have pieces of the answer and that … Continue reading Dialogue Vs Debate ** Exploring together vs winning

Conversation Is a Dance ** Conversation and dance are both improvisational

Dialogue Vs Debate ** Improving Informal Conversations ** Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Conversation is a dance. In the same way that dance is improvisational by its very nature, conversations are as well. We never know … Continue reading Conversation Is a Dance ** Conversation and dance are both improvisational

Improving Informal Conversations ** Add a little structure

Conversation Is a Dance ** Life Is a Conversation ** Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close We often have informal professional meetings without a plan in which the conversation meanders and little is accomplished. We need to … Continue reading Improving Informal Conversations ** Add a little structure

Life Is a Conversation ** Life is a conversation between ourselves and the world around us

Improving Informal Conversations ** Conversation Is More Than Communication Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Life is a conversation between ourselves and the world around us. What conversation do you want your life to be? Continue reading Life Is a Conversation ** Life is a conversation between ourselves and the world around us

Conversation Is More Than Communication Conversation shapes our lives

Life Is a Conversation ** The Difference Between Dialogue and Debate ** Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Face-to-face conversation is far more than just communication. When we have a conversation, we don’t just exchange information. That’s … Continue reading Conversation Is More Than Communication Conversation shapes our lives

The Difference Between Dialogue and Debate ** In dialogue, finding common ground is the goal while in debate, winning is the goal

Conversation Is More Than Communication The Jazz of Conversations Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close We often say we need to debate something – especially in the political world – when what we really need is a … Continue reading The Difference Between Dialogue and Debate ** In dialogue, finding common ground is the goal while in debate, winning is the goal

The Jazz of Conversations Drawing parallels between jazz improv and conversations

The Difference Between Dialogue and Debate ** Meetings and Conversations Serve Two Purposes Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close With increasing polarization in society, effective communication that fosters connection and understanding is essential. Jazz improvisation and conversation … Continue reading The Jazz of Conversations Drawing parallels between jazz improv and conversations

Meetings and Conversations Serve Two Purposes There is a second purpose to any meeting which we often overlook

The Jazz of Conversations Why Face-to-face Interaction Matters ** Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Meetings or, more generally, conversations serve two purposes. The first is obvious, and that is to fulfill their aim. The second is less … Continue reading Meetings and Conversations Serve Two Purposes There is a second purpose to any meeting which we often overlook

Why Face-to-face Interaction Matters ** Our social life is essential to our wellbeing and health

Meetings and Conversations Serve Two Purposes Orality ** Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close The Italian island of Sardinia has more than six times as many centenarians as the mainland and ten times as many as North … Continue reading Why Face-to-face Interaction Matters ** Our social life is essential to our wellbeing and health

Orality ** The practice of transmitting knowledge, culture, and traditions through spoken language

Why Face-to-face Interaction Matters ** Friends with Cognitive Benefits Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Before the widespread use of writing, oral communication was the primary method of sharing knowledge and culture in society. This oral tradition … Continue reading Orality ** The practice of transmitting knowledge, culture, and traditions through spoken language

Friends with Cognitive Benefits Engaging in short friendly conversations improves people's thinking

Orality ** Verbal Judo ** Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Research shows that engaging in short friendly conversations boosts people’s performance on a variety of cognitive tasks. A study in 2011 by researchers at the University … Continue reading Friends with Cognitive Benefits Engaging in short friendly conversations improves people’s thinking

Verbal Judo ** Using one's words to prevent, de-escalate, or end an attempted assault.

Friends with Cognitive Benefits Cognitive Diversity Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Verbal self-defense, also known as verbal judo,is defined as using one’s words to prevent, de-escalate, or end an attempted assault. It is a way of … Continue reading Verbal Judo ** Using one’s words to prevent, de-escalate, or end an attempted assault.

Cognitive Diversity Seeing and processing the world differently

Verbal Judo ** Contra-conversations ** Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close When thinking about organizations or teams, we most commonly think about diversity in terms of gender, race, or age. But there is another form of diversity … Continue reading Cognitive Diversity Seeing and processing the world differently

Contra-conversations **

Cognitive Diversity Turn-taking in Conversation Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close We all have our beliefs. Some held firmly; some held not so tightly. Some true, some false Some we are prepared to change. For others, we … Continue reading Contra-conversations **

Turn-taking in Conversation When we talk we take turns

Contra-conversations ** Conversation Theory ** Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Turn-taking is the practice of individuals in a conversation alternating speaking roles. It involves one person talking while others listen and then transitioning to the next … Continue reading Turn-taking in Conversation When we talk we take turns

Conversation Theory ** Gordon Pask

Turn-taking in Conversation Our Most Powerful Technology Is Conversation Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Pask’s Conversation Theory, developed by British cybernetician Gordon Pask in the 1970s, is a conceptual and theoretical framework that explores how learning … Continue reading Conversation Theory ** Gordon Pask

Our Most Powerful Technology Is Conversation Conversation - an overlooked human technology

Conversation Theory ** The Myth of Thamus and Theuth Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close What is the most powerful technology ever invented? Electricity, the Internet, nuclear power, the printing press or something different? In our business … Continue reading Our Most Powerful Technology Is Conversation Conversation – an overlooked human technology

The Myth of Thamus and Theuth Does writing allow the pretense of understanding, rather than true understanding?

Our Most Powerful Technology Is Conversation Our Brains Are Designed for Conversation Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close In Plato’s Phaedrus, Socrates shares the myth of Thamus and Theuth, questioning the invention of writing. Writing, he argues, … Continue reading The Myth of Thamus and Theuth Does writing allow the pretense of understanding, rather than true understanding?

Our Brains Are Designed for Conversation That is why we find conversation so easy

The Myth of Thamus and Theuth Connecting Minds Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Many of us find it difficult to give a speech, and it is not always easy to listen to one, but we are … Continue reading Our Brains Are Designed for Conversation That is why we find conversation so easy

Connecting Minds Connecting and synchronising minds

Our Brains Are Designed for Conversation Thinking Together Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close A powerful metaphor for exploring group thinking is the idea of connecting minds. Connecting minds is a common metaphor when we talk about … Continue reading Connecting Minds Connecting and synchronising minds

Thinking Together Talking with each other beats talking to ourselves

Connecting Minds Hard Conversation Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close There are two conversations. The face-to-face external conversations we have with other people. And the silent internal conversations or inner conversations we have with ourselves, in our heads. Thinking … Continue reading Thinking Together Talking with each other beats talking to ourselves

Hard Conversation Conversation is anything but soft and wooly

Thinking Together Let’s Have More Interesting Conversations Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Conversation in business is frequently seen as soft and wooly. Is it? I’m afraid the senior managers in my organisation have got no interest … Continue reading Hard Conversation Conversation is anything but soft and wooly

Let’s Have More Interesting Conversations It's our job

Hard Conversation Conversation Sharpens the Saw Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Who gets to decide what makes a useful conversation. You or your manager? In the book The ClueTrain Manifesto, David Weinberger says: It’s always struck … Continue reading Let’s Have More Interesting Conversations It’s our job

Conversation Sharpens the Saw It is not a waste of time

Let’s Have More Interesting Conversations Organizational Conversation ** Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close One reason people often give for not taking a more conversational approach to their work is the lack of time. Many even see … Continue reading Conversation Sharpens the Saw It is not a waste of time

Organizational Conversation ** The conversation is the organization

Conversation Sharpens the Saw Bake Conversation Into All That We Do ** Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Conversation permeates our organizational lives. Organizational Conversation is the myriad of conversations that occur minute-to-minute every day within an … Continue reading Organizational Conversation ** The conversation is the organization

Bake Conversation Into All That We Do ** There are so many ways to leverage conversation

Organizational Conversation ** When Laughter Speaks Louder Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Conversation is an extraordinary, powerful and adaptable tool that we can put to all manner of purposes. We can bake it into almost everything … Continue reading Bake Conversation Into All That We Do ** There are so many ways to leverage conversation

When Laughter Speaks Louder How humor and language expose our inner selves

Bake Conversation Into All That We Do ** Conversation Is Not a Panacea for All Our Problems ** Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Conversations reveal more than we realize. While we can edit our words in … Continue reading When Laughter Speaks Louder How humor and language expose our inner selves

Become a Conversation Architect A conversation architect designs and convenes conversations

Conversation Is Not a Panacea for All Our Problems ** Oracy Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Conversations occur spontaneously in various contexts with little or no thought about who should be involved or how they should … Continue reading Become a Conversation Architect A conversation architect designs and convenes conversations

Oracy The ability to express oneself in and understand spoken language

Become a Conversation Architect Rediscovering Rhetoric Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close In education, considerable emphasis is placed on numeracy and literacy — understanding and working with numbers and reading and writing. But what about the capacity … Continue reading Oracy The ability to express oneself in and understand spoken language

Rediscovering Rhetoric Rethinking how we influence and communicate every day

Oracy What Is the Difference Between Rhetoric and Oracy? Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close Rhetoric is often construed as insincere or meaningless language that sounds clever. This is an unduly negative perspective. Rhetoric is a critical … Continue reading Rediscovering Rhetoric Rethinking how we influence and communicate every day

What Is the Difference Between Rhetoric and Oracy? Rhetoric is monologue, oracy is dialogue

Rediscovering Rhetoric Introduction: the Power of Conversation Close Pop-up all posts in this chapter What’s the Vibe? Please be patient as this may take up to a minute to load… Close On the face of it, rhetoric and oracy would seem the same, but although they have much in common, they have some significant differences. … Continue reading What Is the Difference Between Rhetoric and Oracy? Rhetoric is monologue, oracy is dialogue

Principles of Conversational Leadership

Conversational Leadership