The Fallacy of Changing Others The power of personal agency for change

The question “How do we get those people to change?” constantly arises when pursuing improvement or change. The focus is on how to get management, employees, family, or some “other” group to change their behavior. But this question is fundamentally flawed.

When the question is how to change “those people,” we position ourselves as knowing what’s best for others. It’s an attempt to control, even under the guise of helping. The truth is no one changes simply because we want them to. Pressuring people to change increases resistance, even if the change is positive.

The focus should be on our own transformation, not forcing change on others. Rather than “How do I get them to change?” the question should be “What change is required of me?” This shifts the focus to our own actions and accountability.

Leading by example and exercising personal agency create an environment where others feel free to change. We can’t control other people, but we can maintain our example and the world we inhabit. Getting this question right is essential, even if it is challenging. It’s a necessary shift if we desire to act on what matters rather than exert will over others.

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