Our beliefs are deeply rooted and are based on little evidence, yet we argue and fight over them. It is essential that we better understand the nature of our beliefs and how they are formed and learn to question and revise them.
Our beliefs
We are polarized across political, religious, moral, and racial divides. At the root of our polarization lies our personal beliefs, which, by and large, rest on remarkably shaky ground.
As individuals, we know almost nothing compared to what we think we know. Our personal knowledge is mostly a delusion.
We are not the rational creatures we think we are. To engage in more rational discussions, we need to understand how our beliefs are formed and how to reflect on them, question, and refine them.
Obtaining a solid understanding of the formation and nature of our beliefs is crucial.
For some of our most important beliefs, we have no evidence at all, except that people we love and trust hold these beliefs.
Considering how little we know, the confidence we have in our beliefs is preposterous – and it is also essential.
Rethinking our beliefs
Though we face enormous challenges and wish our global civilization to survive and improve, we have different beliefs, values, morals, and ideas about how we should go about it. We need to:The greatest scientific discovery was the discovery of ignorance.
Once humans realised how little they knew about the world, they suddenly had a very good reason to seek new knowledge, which opened up the scientific road to progress.
- Default to the fact that most people act in good faith until we have strong evidence otherwise.
- Start talking with each other about our beliefs and how we came to them.
- Understand better how we ourselves think and how others think.
- Be more tolerant of opposing beliefs, especially seemingly radical ones.
Conversation is crucial in achieving this. If we can’t talk with each other, we will continue to see each other as enemies and fight.
Conversations across divides may seem fraught with difficulty, but they are possible. There are several preconditions, however, to engaging in what might seem futile, even impossible, conversations.
First and foremost, we need to understand and agree that we have not formed our beliefs via a rational process of evidence evaluation. We need to admit our ignorance on most matters, especially complex social ones, and be prepared to revise our beliefs.
It then follows that seeing each other as stupid or enemies makes no sense and that we need to talk.
These are the preconditions:
- Be prepared to question and revise our beliefs. Our beliefs rest on shaky ground.
- Cease seeing each other as enemies. We must not be enemies. If we are enemies, there can be no conversation.
- Be prepared to talk to people with whom we disagree. We need to recognize that talking is the only way forward. No progress can be made if someone refuses to speak or is violent or threatening.
- Be willing to trust each other and engage in good faith. To be sincere, fair, open, and honest, regardless of the outcome of the conversation.
- Be able to show respect for each other and each other’s ideas. To recognize that showing respect is quite different from having respect.
- Be willing to abide by some rules of engagement. To create and use conversation covenants.
- Be ready to learn how to have impossible conversations.
People are enthusiastic about other people re-thinking their beliefs but are less motivated to re-think their own.
Credit: David Creelman
Given the nature of our beliefs, we need to recognize that “we are not enemies, but friends.”
Posts that link to this post
- Impossible Conversations Navigating conversations across ideological divides
- Conversational Leadership Mindset Developing a Conversational Leadership mindset
- Engaging in Impossible Conversations Impossible conversations are different from difficult conversations
- The Importance of Harnessing Diversity to Unite Society Five critical skills for constructive conversations
- Multipolar Traps or Moloch Traps Acting against our collective interests
- The Shaky Ground Beneath Our Beliefs Questioning our beliefs
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