Our public interactions have become more and more like having an argument with a spouse.
Conflict can’t be avoided in our public lives any more than we can avoid conflict with people we love.
One of the great strengths of our society is that we can express these conflicts openly.
But just as spouses have to learn ways of settling their differences without inflicting real damage on each other, so we, as a society, have to find constructive ways of resolving disputes and differences.
Public discourse requires making an argument for a point of view, not having an argument — as in having a fight.
Credit: Deborah Tannen
Comment: t's sad but true - our public discussions nowadays often devolve into bitter, personal attacks, just like heated arguments between married couples. Instead of rational debates, we're seeing more shouting matches and mud-slinging. We need to regain the ability to respectfully disagree and find common ground.
Books: Deborah Tannen (1)
Tags: argument (33) | conflict (5) | culture (24) | Deborah Tannen (2) | discourse (13) | global society (21) | public discourse (6)
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In-person, 7–11 September 2026
Warbrook House, Hampshire, UK
We are living and working in conditions of uncertainty, complexity, and rapid change. This week-long workshop offers a space to practise Conversational Leadership as a shared, lived experience.