Martin Buber was a twentieth-century Jewish philosopher. He focused on human relationships, community, and the meaning of dialogue in everyday life. His work offers a clear way of understanding how we relate to one another through presence, meeting, and conversation.
Who he was
Martin Buber was a Jewish philosopher, born in Austria in 1878, who later settled in Jerusalem. He lived through a period of enormous upheaval, which shaped much of his thinking about human relationships, community, and responsibility.
He worked as a writer, educator, and translator, and was deeply engaged in questions of culture, religion, and society. His interests ranged from religious thought to education and politics, but his central concern was always very human: what happens when we meet one another.
He is best known for his book I and Thou, first published in 1923, a short but influential work that has had a lasting impact across many fields.
His core idea
At the heart of Buber’s work is a simple but powerful distinction between two ways of relating to the world.
He called these I–It and I–Thou.
The language can feel a little heavy at first. It often puts people off. But the idea behind it is straightforward.
I–It is when we relate to people and things as objects. We analyze, categorize, measure, and use. We see roles, functions, and problems to solve. This is how most of our working lives operate. It is necessary. We could not function without it.
I–Thou is when we meet someone as a person rather than an object. We are not trying to use, fix, or assess them. We are simply present to them, and they to us.
Another way of putting it is this.
In I–It, the other is something in my world.
In I–Thou, the other is a world in their own right.
Or more simply still.
I–It is about dealing with things.
I–Thou is about meeting people.
Buber was clear that both modes are essential. The problem is not I–It. The problem is when it becomes the only way we relate.
Dialogue
For Buber, dialogue is not just conversation. It is not about exchanging views or reaching agreement. Dialogue is about how we are with each other.
It is about turning towards the other person and being present. Not performing a role, not waiting to respond, not trying to control the outcome, but allowing something to happen between us.
He placed great emphasis on what happens “between” people. He believed that something real emerges in this space, something that is not simply yours or mine, but created in the relationship itself.
This helps explain why some conversations feel alive, and others do not. It is not just about the content. It is about the quality of the encounter.
Why it matters
Most of our working lives are shaped by I–It.
We see people in terms of roles, outputs, and usefulness. We listen to respond, to fix, or to persuade. We focus on efficiency and control.
All of this is understandable, but it leaves little room for a different kind of meeting.
I–Thou moments tend to be brief and cannot be planned. They depend on how we show up rather than on any method.
Even so, they matter. They change how we understand one another and open up possibilities not available in more transactional exchanges.
Relevance to conversational leadership
Buber’s thinking connects closely with Conversational Leadership.
If we approach conversations in I–It mode, treating people as problems to solve or inputs to manage, then our conversations remain transactional.
If we are able to shift, even slightly, into I–Thou, the quality of the conversation changes. People feel recognized. They speak more openly. They listen differently. New understanding can emerge.
This is not something we can force. At best, we can create the conditions where something real might happen between people.
A simple way to think about it
In any conversation, it can be useful to ask a simple question. Am I relating to this person as an It, or am I open to meeting them as a Thou? We will move between the two all the time. That is normal. But even a small shift in how we attend to someone can change the conversation.
Resources
- Book: I and Thou
- Book: Between Man and Man
- Article: Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy: Martin Buber
Books: Martin Buber (1)
Quotations: Martin Buber (1)
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In-person, 7–11 September 2026
Warbrook House, Hampshire, UK
We are living and working in conditions of uncertainty, complexity, and rapid change. This week-long workshop with David Gurteen and John Hovell offers a space to practise Conversational Leadership as a shared, lived experience.